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The Friday Flash – Parallel Universes – Part 5 of 7 – An Epic Journey – Friday Flash Fiction

Parallel Universes – Part 5 – An Epic Journey

Richard’s orb and its host of zombies sat in the skip. As they lacked human consciousness it would be unrealistic to suggest that they wondered what would happen next. Yes, the author appreciates that everything written so far beggars belief but this is a flight of fantasy too far.

The orb was well hidden and the likelihood was that the skip hire company would cart skip and contents off to their yard that very day. However, this was not to be, for someone had slashed the tyres on the collection truck. This meant that zombies, orb, toilets, piss stained mattresses and other salvageable materials awaited their fate.

First to go were the mattresses – off to a bunch of homeless folk who slept under a nearby bridge. They wondered about the toilets but took the view that they would only be a reminder of the life that they had left behind. A life that had for many been left behind in order to escape but for a significant minority had been closed off to them due to unforeseen circumstances.

But what of our homeless zombies who are now getting rather restless. Shaken, stirred and adrift from their Goddess, what are they going to do next? Can Stan’s Spawn and Lilith save the day? No zombie would dare to call them Cuthbert and Paulette now. Well not to their faces.

Suddenly the orb was suspended in space and the zombies went into freefall. To say that they felt disoriented would be an understatement as, unlike the happy hedonists, they had chosen not to inhale when Richard had introduced laughing gas and eau de blunt into the atmosphere. If this was a trip they reasoned the destination couldn’t be worse than the journey.

They jiggled and bounced and they bounced and jiggled. They bounced and bounced and jiggled and jiggled.  They were getting mightily fed up. For unbeknownst to them, they had fallen into the hands of the type of folk who take things from skips in order to make a bit of cash at a car boot.

The zombies could hear the booming voices of giants.

“It should go for bit, Edna”

“Not without the power lead it won’t. Are you sure it wasn’t in the ship?”

“No it wasn’t. I’d have taken it if it had been, you stupid mare. “

Then silence except for the screeching of hidden demons or rather bicycle wheels that had not been oiled. The bike was another Edna find that had been “liberated” from someone’s back-garden but which she decided to keep rather than sell.

The car-booters  and zombie hoards reached their destination. This was to be to be brief interlude for the zombies as Edna intended selling the orb for the princely sum of a fiver, which is more than the uber-wonderful series of Astro-coaching books written by this very author. Edna, of course, was one of those people who had no time for books or writers in general.  Such people should get “proper jobs”, she felt.

Edna eyed up the globe and debated whether she might get a tenner for it if she bothered to clean it up.  She quickly dismissed this thought and loaded into the boot of the car ready for the next days bout of entrepreneurship.

Time moves swiftly when you’re enjoying yourself and it moves pretty fast when you’re bored out of your mind, which Edna now was. It was a swelteringly hot day and the zombies were starting to feel rather sweaty. Had they been in possession of armpits they would be pitting out. They were also finding it difficult to breathe and were feeling grateful for the overcast weather. At least the muck on the outside of the orb prevented the poor dears from getting sunburnt.

Suddenly two titans began bellowing at each other.

“Will you take a quid for it as it ain’t got no plug?”

“**** off! I want at least £3.”

“I’ll give yerz £2 and that’s my best offer.”

A price was agreed and the zombies were on the move again. They felt themselves bumping along as the next stage of their evolution began.

To be continued…

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