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Terminating Toxicity in Your Life – Part 6 of 8 – Strategies 2 – Stage 1 – Last Rites

Terminating Toxicity in Your Life – Part 6 of 8 – Strategies 2 – Stage 1 – Last Rites

Stage One – Last Rites

  1. It’s time to cut this individual out of your life forever. They’ve had multiple chances but won’t change. Let them go. You’ve completed your analysis and made the decision.
  2. The message can be delivered in person, by letter or email. Work out what you are most comfortable doing and what, given your knowledge of the person, will be most effective.
  3. Tell them how the way they treat you makes you feel and that you won’t accept this from anyone. (Rehearse this a few times – be strong and assertive.) Show them who’s boss and lay down the rules. You may choose to tell them how toxic they are though opinion is divided as to whether you should do this. Some people say yes while others say keep it simple and just tell the person that you will no longer have anything to do with them and that they should leave you alone.  Your communication should be direct, polite and balanced. Whatever they do, you do not descend into being ignoble or over-emotional and you therefore retain the moral high ground.
  4. Make them aware that you no longer wish to communicate or spend any time with them. Ensure this message is is short, crisp and to the point. Get them to agree to this – you want a commitment from them that they will never contact you again in any way, shape or form. The majority of people have a sense of honour, if so bring out this fine quality by reminding them of it. They might even feel better for the duration of your conversation. But clearly don’t let them use this as an argument to stay in touch.
  5. Cut off their oxygen supply by being succinct – don’t give them any information they might use to hang a counter argument on or interpret in a way to suggest there is any hope for them. Just say no if they ask for something. Don’t take anything they offer so you can avoid any potential guilt trips. Ensure you control the interaction and dialogue at all stages.

To find out more about how to deal with a toxic person checkout my How To Deal With People Who Are ToXiC book . Click on the link to find out more and get your free sample.

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