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Terminating Toxicity in Your Life – Part 3 of 8 – Toxic Traits

Terminating Toxicity in Your Life – Part 3 of 8 – Toxic Traits

“No matter where or what, there are makers, takers, and fakers.”
― Robert Heinlein

This awesome quote from one of the masters of science fiction can also be used to help grade people you know and assess their levels of value or toxicity. The value that people add to your life can be positive or negative. Think about who you know and work out which of the three they are. Do they take more than they give, are they false to you, or do they make your life a pleasure to experience?

Are there any overlaps? Imagine this as a Venn diagram. Most people will have a mixture of these traits, in varying proportions.’

Fakers (1)

In fact, which are you?

Toxic Traits

Toxic people can be a few or a mixture of the following – it’s quite likely that you can add many additional descriptors, but these are some of the traits to look out for. Most toxic types will incorporate several of these characteristics.

If you really luck out, you’ll get one who is an unholy and unprecedented mixture of all of them, a self-perfected priest or priestess of the art of toxicity, the baneful and baleful Buddha who always reminds you of the ignoble truth of (your) suffering (but neglects the helping you find the enlightened solution bit).

Time to bungee dive down the rabbit hole of the reprehensible reprobates. Here are some of the main traits – feel free to add your own.

  • Abusive and bullying – this includes passive aggressive behaviour
  • Boring – all they eye-glazingly and will-to-live sappingly talk about is “me, me, me”
  • Cowardly – can act behind your back but deflate easily if challenged, which is when they descend into self-pity and angst, which of course, is your fault
  • Depressing – drag you down to their level and try to keep you there
  • Destructive – of your health, happiness and sanity
  • Dishonest – will do anything to get their own way
  • Emotional and Energy Vampires – can drain you of all hope
  • Guilt-inducing – everything is your fault, not theirs
  • Hoovers – will try to contact you on a ‘significant’ date, birthday, anniversary, Christmas, New Year, in an attempt to make contact at a time that was, apparently, “special to both of us”
  • Ignoble and unprincipled – no matter how ridiculous they appear to everybody else, this does not stop them coming on at you
  • Immature – reverts to childish behaviour if they don’t get what they want
  • Invites you to a front row seat at their pity party – tries to keep you in a disempowered state
  • Irresponsible – does not accept their responsibility for their own life and state of mind, it’s all your fault, right?
  • Judgemental – rigid, wants you to adhere to their particularist view of the world, even in the face of all evidence to the contrary
  • Manipulative – uses any means to obtain and reinforce  your compliance
  • Martyrs – slaves to the blame game, yet another way to make you guilty and compliant
  • Narcissists – more about “me, me, me” reflected through the mirror of their own neediness and egotism
  • Needy – latch onto you as they lack inner resolve
  • Self-centred – the world owes them everything, as do you
  • Self-destructive – they may also take you down with them
  • Solipsistic – everything is about them
  • Takes offence – at the slightest thing
  • Undermining – always trying to get you down
  • Undesirable – tries to appear your friend but is anything but, and most people with any self-awareness avoid them like the proverbial plague
  • Upset constantly – because of you or somebody else, another way to try to manipulate you by the pity party trope
  • Victims – of anything that helps them get their way
  • Whiney – their neediness constantly grates and is often mirrored in their body language

To find out more about how to deal with a toxic person checkout my How To Deal With People Who Are ToXiC book . Click on the link to find out more and get your free sample.

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