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Terminating the Toxicity in Your Life – Part 7 of 8 – Strategies 2 – Stage 2 – Burial

Stage Two – Burial

  1. Now deliver on your promise and cut them out of your life completely – do not answer emails or calls, do nothing to encourage them. Blank them. Just get rid of them. If the person has any decency, honour or integrity, they will respect your wishes and leave you alone.
  2. Be aware that some people will try every trick in the book to argue against you and insinuate their way back into your life (this is why you need to gain their assent and commitment, outlined in paragraph 4 above). So dress rehearse your strategy and work out their possible responses. Don’t fall for guilt trips, hoovering or anything else they might try in the future.
  3. Feel no guilt or remorse. You are doing what’s best for you to make you happy. Toxic individuals are full of poison for your mind and soul so getting rid of this unnecessary negative force empowers you to live your best life. To you, this person no longer exists and is effectively dead to you. Resurrection is not an option.
  4. If necessary change email addresses, sites you often frequent and so on. If you are a social networking aficionado, ensure your security is set at the absolute maximum. Or just do something more interesting in the non-virtual world.
  5. You want to ensure that this individual cannot communicate with you in any way. If you need an existing email address, just set up a rule to move any communication from them into the deleted folder so that you don’t even read it.
  6. Be very wary of any online request to be your friend from someone you do not know.
  7. Obviously you do not follow the toxic individual on any social network, blog or similar site. Your objective is a clean, clear break so you don’t do anything to compromise this. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
  8. You may consider retaining copies of any existing correspondence in case you need it for your lawyer, authorities etc., depending on the legal framework within your jurisdiction. If you don’t want this material polluting your house or PC/Mac/tablet/phone, keep it elsewhere, on a memory stick, with your attorney or on a cloud server.
  9. If the person proves intractable and attempts to get in contact, consider rerouting any further communication to your legal representative to establish if there are grounds for proceedings to be taken.
  10. You want the toxic individual out of your life permanently – this means physically and psychologically. Which entails not thinking about them, not fuelling them or giving them any headspace. You could do a short rite of exorcism if this works for you, spend more time with your real friends, sing a song, tell a joke, have a drink, or go for a decent meal at a good restaurant.
  11. Ultimately, live the best life that you can. Enjoy yourself, be creative, have fun, make new friends, learn how to fly and get your pilot’s licence, get a different job, travel extensively. Whatever works for you. Moving on and being your best self is the most effective way of disengaging and distancing from toxic influences.
  12. And be vigilant and self-aware so that you do not attract such people in the future.
    
    

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