You are here: Home > Darkside Astrology, General, Relationships, Tips & Tricks, Toxic Astrology > Terminating the Toxicity in Your Life – Part 2 of 8 – Toxic Audit

Terminating the Toxicity in Your Life – Part 2 of 8 – Toxic Audit

The Toxic Audit

A great starting point is to do a people audit and work out who you really like and whoever makes your heart sink when you think about them. List your family, friends and acquaintances, divide them into must haves, nice to knows, neutrals and toxics. Obviously different strategies will be necessary for each type, but this exercise makes you think about your relationships in a very focussed way.

Be brutally honest and realistic about this. This is your life, right?

Make your hit list of the toxics and be unambiguous. If you have any doubts, remember the negative impact they have on you, and that once you are rid of them, the toxics will soon find others to abuse or to join their pity party. They become someone else’s monkey on their back.

But no longer yours.

If that thought inspires and excites you, creating a wonderful heartwarming sense of relief and blissful joy, you know what you have to do. Also you will be assisting the toxic to find more interesting and fulfilling things to do rather than spend all their time annoying you.

Win win situation for all, do you not agree?

Consider using the Friend Ranking Quadrant (FRQ) to obtain a realistic appraisal of your friends and acquaintances.

Toxic Quadrant

You’ll soon see who adds value to your life – awesome friends who are always there for you who bring joy into your life and who you always look forward to seeing. And as a corollary, those who detract value – even thinking about them casts a negative dark cloud over your head.

Closely consider the people in your life and work out where they fit in the quadrant. This adds clarity if done with honesty, and the toxic box on the lower right hand side forms your hit list.

“If you want a golden rule that will fit everything, this is it: have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”
― William Morris

William Morris – the touchstone of eloquence on matters of interior design and the art of living. Also a marvellous philosophy to apply to the people in your life. Where do they stand in terms of adding value, being useful, beautiful or just life enhancingly amazing to be around?

So you’ve worked out your best friends, people you really care about and so on. Then there’s the people you are happy to hang out with but are not too close to, and then there are those whom you tolerate or are indifferent to.

Now, what’s left at the end of this process of distillation? Your toxic hit list. Consider these people and how they make you feel. If there is no ambiguity about their constant negative impact, they are the ones you need to jettison.

There is a growing trend towards minimalism, decluttering and simplifying things  (the US small house movement is a fascinating and sustainable example of this). People are beginning to see the benefits of cutting cost and clutter and stripping their life to a few essentials that add and enhance value.

“The things you used to own, now they own you.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

Remember, the more possessions you have, the more they own you – you need to pay for their acquisition, upkeep, maintenance, space to keep them in, insurance and so on. Then you worry if they get stolen or damaged or, in the case of an ‘investment’, lose value. If you are into Buddhism, you might view this as a cool example of the Second Noble Truth – that suffering is caused by craving and ignorance.

The same goes for people in your life. Are the high maintenance and unpleasant ones really worth the investment in time, energy and emotional commitment?

Tags: , , ,

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Twitter
  • RSS