You are here: Home > Book Excerpts and Teasers, Relationships > Introducing The Tenth Toxic Type – The Mission Creep

Introducing The Tenth Toxic Type – The Mission Creep

Introducing The Tenth Toxic Type – The Mission Creep

Further research and feedback has uncovered a new, hitherto unrevealed Toxic type. It’s unclear if this is a Toxic mutation or has simply been keeping a low profile in order to replicate its toxicity. You may have one of these in your life already, waiting to reveal themselves in all their glory, like an antediluvian streaker jogging past you on a quiet Sunday morning in the park.

Remember, we do this so you don’t have to.

The tenth member of the Taxonomy of Toxic Types (formerly the Noxious Nine) is a particularly invasive and reprehensible example. Initially, they appear to be very helpful and it’s only as things develop that you realise that their desire to ‘go the extra mile’ enables them to delve deeper and further in your life and your mind. They just can’t wait to offer their assistance, over and over again. If you don’t recognise this salami technique, or death by a thousand cuts, you’ll find that soon they’ve taken over major aspects of your life and will try to impact on your relationships.

No decision, however important or trivial, can be made without their input. If you try to exclude the Toxic, you’ll most probably experience a reaction like that of the wife of a writer who devoted a book on erectile dysfunction to her.

No other friendship or relationship is to be considered viable without the Toxic vetting (and invariably dismissing) the other party. If you want to go somewhere, they demand to accompany you. If you are thinking something through, they can’t wait to offer an insight or opinion in order to shape your thought processes. Fancy a quiet drink and a bit of solitude to mull things over? As soon as you hit the bar and order, your phone will buzz as you take the first sip, or the Toxic, having stalked you, will turn up with a dish full of salted nuts and join you.

They want to become indispensable, weaving themselves into the very fabric of your neurons, so that if you think about doing something, they always come to mind and need to be consulted (or so they hope and expect).

Without further ado, let’s introduce the Mission Creep, also known as the Toxic Svengali.

They’d love to be the power behind your throne, your advisor, counsellor, the organ grinder to your monkey, even your soul mate if there’s a romantic intent on their part. Ultimately they want you to be the puppet whose strings they unerringly pull, as their motivation is not to help you, but to control you. If you ever get into a relationship with such a person, beware as they won’t let you go easily. You’re too significant a part of their life and whatever would they do without you. The emptiness of the void you’d leave would be an intolerable thought to them.

How to spot them early on?

Imagine the fussiest, most interfering and dominant mother that you can, rack that up to the max, and visualise how they behave – the mother figure in Pink Floyd’s ‘The Wall’ is a good starting point.
They’ll always think they’re acting in your interests, looking out for you whilst stultifying your growth and personal development. They’ll vet anyone who you want as a friend and even police the way you think. Got an opinion that they don’t approve of? Watch that opinion being dismissed as if it was birthed and held by an idiot. Mission Creeps use emotion instead of logic (they don’t do rational thought but have a lot of low level feral cunning and an ocean of tears on tap to reinforce the message) and will try to work on your emotions and any vestige of sympathy or obligation you may feel that you owe them.

They did you lots of favours and put themselves out for you, right? How dare you forget!

So, how do you get this Toxic Incubus out of your life. It’s not the easiest challenge, especially if they’ve been around a long time and think they have gold card access to everything you think and do. You can use reason (unlikely to work as their minds don’t function that way), or try to play them on an emotional level, which means that you are playing by their rules and on their turf.

Calmly explain in a friendly and helpful manner that you appreciate all the stuff they do, but you find it a bit cloying and want more time to yourself. Don’t get into too much detail as they’ll probe ‘time to do what’ and use any answers as a hook for themselves to get involved so that further embroilment and entanglement results. Reduce the amount of time you spend with them and don’t involve them in things that you do – especially new activities and new friends.

If they ignore the message and start turning up to new stuff you do, you’ve got a stalker to contend with and need a much more hardcore approach.

The seeds of this have already been sown by reducing the amount of time you spend with them. You now need to perform Toxic Termination on them – which means that you have to cut them out of your life completely. Tell them that this is what is now happening, that you want no more to do with them and that it’s time to part company. Polite and short is what you need to be, along with being forceful and brooking no counter argument.
There may be tears and tantrums, possibly the odd threat of ‘consequences’ and whatnot, and they may keep trying to bounce back into your life, like a Toxic Tigger. Eventually they’ll see the cold, clear light of reason and give up, possibly finding another victim to annoy and control.
Luckily they’re now the monkey on someone else’s back, not yours. Get on with your life and keep a wary eye for anyone else who wants to be ‘helpful’ and ‘supportive’ – you never know where that might lead.
To find out about the other nine toxic types take a look in the How To Deal With People Who Are ToXiC book . Click on the link to find out more and get your free sample.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Twitter
  • RSS
Copy Protected by Chetan's WP-Copyprotect.