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How To Stop Yourself Playing The Blame Game – Part 2

How To Stop Yourself Playing The Blame Game – Part 2

Naturally there will be times when you have a perfectly valid reason for blaming someone else when things go wrong. Perhaps it really is their fault! But even then it is still essential that you try and focus on yourself rather than the person you are blaming. You are the only person that can control your feelings and thoughts no matter what happens around you. You are the only person who has control of how you react, sure at times some negative events might prompt us to blame others but that is not always the way to get things put right. In this situation we may have to choose between venting our frustrations at the other person or doing our best to solve the problem with or without their input. Doing this contributes to our personal growth more than having great big blame fest and is ultimately far more satisfying.

If you feel tempted to play the blame game then remember that blaming others is a huge waste of your time and unfortunately it will keep you connected to the person whom you are blaming. So for example if we have a poor heredity when it comes to health we can either waste our lives blaming our parents for having us and pass up on any enjoyment that could be had or we can accept that this is what has happened and get on with living the best life that our genetic legacy allows us. We can try empathizing with them and seeing their point of view as opposed to for example taking what we might see as the moral high-ground and saying “well, I wouldn’t have done it!” We cannot change what has happened but we can chose how we react to it. Are we going to live a life of bitterness and regret always blaming our parents for our failures or are we going to do something more constructive with all that energy and emotion? Might we do something that might actually make us happy, for example?

If you put yourself in a position where someone other than you is responsible for either your happiness or unhappiness you put yourself in the position where ultimately you are at their mercy and you will be quality of life will depend on their whims, behavior and even moods. So although you initially think you are in a position of power by blaming them for everything you move to a position of weakness where their actions can blight your life.

Having self confidence and control enables you to see negative events from a different perspective and can even help you learn from the situation. At times bad events can be great teaching aids and help us to learn how to protect ourselves from similar events in the future. If we blame others for those bad events we remove our power to deal with them next time around because we have not learnt from them. Once you stop playing the blame game you will embrace your own power, you will be able to assess what you’re capable of more accurately, which will make achieving your goals more likely.

Whenever things go wrong or don’t work out the way you wanted them to it is often tempting to find someone to blame. In some cases, blaming someone else can be comforting but usually the comfort never lasts for long. It only happens for a short while then, you start feeling guilty later and it can even be embarrassing in some situations so the pragmatic and wise thing to do is to learn to take the blame right from the start if you are the one in the wrong. Then you can move on from the mistake. Let’s face it none of us is perfect so we might as well accept it! Also people prefer to deal with someone who they feel is trustworthy rather than someone their view as likely to drop them in it or stab them in the back.

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