How To Deal With ToXiCs Combat Manual

How To Deal With ToXics Combat Manual

ToXiC Combat Manual book cover

The mission of this book is to enable you to identify, deal with, and eliminate toxic individuals who add no value to your life and actively sabotage it.

You can read ‘How to Deal with ToXiCs Combat Manual’ as an instruction or combat manual, with a clear call to action. It draws on neuroscience, psychology, genetics, epigenetics, technology and philosophy, repurposing proven techniques to empower you to deal with toxic influences in your life.

A ToXiC is defined as someone who is continually and persistently bad for you to be around. They regularly manipulate and undermine you, taking great joy in your misery whilst pretending to be your friend. Their presence is pernicious and injurious to your psychological and physical wellbeing. They think they have an inalienable right to provoke, pry and interfere in whatever you do. ToXiCs delight in breaching any boundaries you have drawn in an attempt to deal with their unwanted presence or behaviour.

They do not respect you – not at all, no matter what they say or appear to do to convince you otherwise.

There is obviously a difference between a wilfully malignant toxic individual (hereafter referred to as a Toxic) and a person who temporarily exhibits toxic behaviour. Toxicity won’t be what the second person normally exhibits. They may be in a state of anger, depression, all-consuming despair or grief when they behave in a toxic manner, and will simply be expressing how they feel at that point in time in an uncensored and unmediated way.

Possessed by whatever is consuming them at that time, they will do things that normally they wouldn’t countenance. They won’t always use that behaviour in a purposeful and exploitative manner.

The Toxic, however, is characterised by a consistent and purposeful series of behaviours, all of which are designed to manipulate and degrade you. A normal individual will usually see the error of their toxic behaviour, often be mortified, and will invariably apologise and attempt to make things right with you.

A Toxic will do none of these things and will ‘get off’ on trying to manipulate you by whatever means they can, only ‘apologising’ if it’s part of their grand scheme to dominate you.

This book is practical and examines the realpolitik of dealing with a toxic context and/or a toxic individual. You can use it as a combat manual, where appropriate. It’s not about trying to be good, compassionate and doing the right thing for everyone, no matter how they treat you, especially when that doesn’t work out to be in your best interests. It’s about behaving and acting selectively, being focused and effective where you need to be.

Sometimes people need to be got out of your life for your own good, and inevitably, that may temporarily upset them. Better that than them continually hurting you.

Accordingly, this is not a ‘light and love’ treatise wherein the universe is assumed to be benign and always on your side. Some of the material addressed herein may raise your eyebrows or challenge your personality, beliefs and expectations.

Nor is this a book about ‘fixing’ the Toxic by trying to get them to modify their behaviour, or deal with ‘issues’ in their past that they use to justify their activities. Certain types of Toxic may even leaf through DSM – V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition) to see what kind of conditions they might have to self-justify; or even suggest one or two new ones as they feel themselves so unique and fascinating and can’t wait to share with the world.

If the Toxic needs that kind of help and can’t sort themself out, there are plenty of specialists in all types of disciplines who might even see them as ‘an interesting and unique person’ or a ‘stimulating challenge’. They will be more than happy to take their money to do so and maybe make them the subject of their case notes or a popular psychology bestseller.

This is unlikely to be your area of expertise, and in any case, your priority is cleansing the Toxic from your life.

You have been warned. If you are happy to proceed and get rid of the Toxic, climb aboard and fasten your seatbelt.

Sound Familiar?

Have you received a phone call and got that sixth sense that the person on the other end of the line is someone you would prefer not to have in your life? Do you let the phone ring or grudgingly, out of a sense of misplaced duty and being sociable, answer the caller? Then collapse into a profanity spewing jelly the moment the call has ended?

Your Toxic is winning. You answered their call despite your reservations and now you’re suffering the consequences.

Ever been in that situation when you’ve been contentedly breezing along the pavement, smiling away or whistling merrily, all being right with the world? Then you notice someone in the distance who makes your heart spiral into the gutter; so potentially dancing with death, you cross the busy road to avoid them.

Once again the Toxic wins. They’ve got to the point where they’re controlling your behaviour even though you’ve avoided their physical presence. It’s gone beyond the stage of not wanting to meet them – now you can’t even tolerate the anticipation of meeting them.

Walking into work, are you filled with a sense of impending menace and negativity as you worry about the effects your bullying boss or corrosive co-workers are having on you? Is insomnia now your norm, as you dread the poisonous workplace environment that dominates most of your waking hours? Waking up with your stomach in knots and a feeling of nausea and despair, perhaps you sometimes call in sick just to avoid them.

Do you ever receive an email and decide not to open it, as you just oh-so-do-not want to read the stream of banal, pedestrian and predictable vitriol? You are under the influence of a CyberToxic, who thinks they can attack you anytime, anyplace, and anywhere.

When you log onto your social networking sites, do you detect that a certain individual has been grubbing around, trying to find out as much about you as they can, so they can use this information to threaten or manipulate you later? Do they have a blog and do you ever check in to see what lies they are spreading about you just for malice, or to big them up; or how they are publically emoting about you because of some perceived relationship that only exists in their mind?

At Christmas, are you filled with dread and nausea as you receive the inevitable invitation to the annual family bash, where you know retribution, argument and bad feelings are the order of the day as the alcohol flows and everyone, inhibitions long evaporated, decides to tell the rest of family what they really think about you?

Do you attend these festive events because it’s expected of you and you want to stake your claim to your inheritance, or because you genuinely enjoy pressing the flesh with your corrosive kith and kin?

Perhaps the thought of someone who adds no value to your life makes you realise how obnoxious and vile their behaviour can be and that you’ll tolerate no more of it.

You are now reaching the turning point, the point of no return.

The only ingredient missing is you taking action.

ToXiC Kryptonite

Welcome to the world of the toxic individual, someone who you would prefer to avoid at all costs as they drain your energy and potentially make you feel awful about yourself. This may or may not be their intention. That’s not the issue here, as their motivation is irrelevant when all that matters is the final outcome – the negative effect they continue to have on you.

A toxic person is a cancer of the soul that metastases the longer you allow them to remain in your life.

Sometimes they can progress rapidly from simply being background noise level irritation to demoralising harassment and stalking, both of which are criminal activities in many jurisdictions. The longer you let them get away with their behaviour, the more intense it becomes and the more difficult it is to get rid of them. The danger exists so you need to act quickly and decisively.

Forewarned is forearmed.

Bad things can happen to good people and exposure to a Toxic is a salutary example. That this has taken place is not necessarily your fault or any reflection on your character. It’s just something that has happened and, like any disease that can get worse, has to be dealt with in a forthright and effective manner.

This extensively researched book will assist you with identifying, targeting, dealing with and ultimately getting rid of whichever of the Noxious Nine Toxic Types is plaguing your life.

You’ll learn about the Necrotic Narcissist, whose insistence on their own importance at the expense of yours can wear you down, leaving you demoralised and disempowered by their continually wailing ‘me, me, me’ at the expense of ‘you’ mantra.

You’ll encounter the Dream Destroyer, who can’t wait to tell you why anything you try to achieve will end in the ashes of failure and that it will all be your fault. The Black Cloud will be dragged into the light, the type of Toxic who’ll spend all their time and energy leaching the life out of you, enshrouding you in their own misery and depression, never being happier than when you are down and demoralised.

Which leaves six more Toxic Types for you to explore.

These people could be your colleagues, bosses and fellow students, past friends, acquaintances, and ex-lovers, even members of your family. Or simply someone you’ve recently met who’s already crossing all of your boundaries and giving you that icky feeling of impending unpleasantness.

You may not even have met them. They could turn out to be someone several thousand miles away who’s been watching your every move on a social networking site, and taken exception to something about you. You may have expressed an opinion on Twitter that outrages someone’s precious sensibilities, who then tries to raise a storm of aggressive abuse against you.

The common denominator is how they make you feel and if you really want their presence in your existence to continue. Remember, it’s your life and it’s getting shorter by the second. It’s your choice who you allow into it, and also who you don’t want, if they provide no pleasure or support and undermine your wellbeing.

Being your ‘friend’ is not a basic human right – it’s something you extend to those who deserve it. Toxics will sometimes try to justify their behaviour by getting emotionally incontinent and gushing about having their ‘needs met’ or ‘avoiding getting upset’. Well, your needs are paramount and they are best served by getting this toxic influence out of your life for good.

When people persistently and deliberately step over the line and become Toxic, you realise that you owe them no duty of care whatsoever, no matter what manipulative entreaties and behaviour they come up with. They’ll try anything they can to stay in your life, from low level manipulation sometimes accompanied by psychological or physical threats, to trying to get your friends or family on message, thereby tainting existing relationships with their neediness and attempts to make you feel guilty.

So do you want to waste any more time on toxic individuals? Maybe you should consider adopting a different and much more proactive strategy.

Why wait and passively surrender control to them? Negotiate with them – make them understand the error of their ways and how they should change their behaviour. Clearly and dispassionately, outline the consequences if they fail to act on this. If that possibility is exhausted, just root them out and eliminate them from your circle of people. They’ve been given their chance and haven’t lived up to their commitment.

Now it’s time for you to deliver on your promise.

The objective of this book is to inform you how to identify the toxic individuals that compromise and contaminate your life. It outlines strategies for communicating your concerns to them and then, if and when necessary, describes the process for ejecting them from your life, physically, psychologically, neurologically and emotionally.

Once you’ve done this, you free up vital energies for doing things that you want to do, and no longer need to pay any attention to them.

Comprehensive strategies are outlined for dealing with Toxics and eliminating them from your life. The issues of eradicating CyberToxics (the type that harass and stalk you via the Internet and various online devices) are explored in depth.

It’s also clear that a Toxic may leave some psychological baggage even when you have discharged them, so strategies for destroying any lingering toxic residue in your mind and brain are discussed. A working appreciation of neuroplasticity, the means by which you can destroy toxic neural networks within your brain whilst making positive, lasting cognitive change, is outlined.

Along the way, you’ll meet a number of characters or archetypes that illustrate the major points.

You’ll be introduced to Lupus and Fenris, the wolves of love and hate; badass mythopoeic metaphors for the more reserved and planning rational side of the brain, and the faster, less inhibited emotional forces that rush into action to mobilise you to fight or escape from dangerous situations. Nicki Narcissi, a somewhat odious individual, will demonstrate why Necrotic Narcissists are bad to be around; and more positively, you’ll thrill to the exploits of Visantaka, one of three fictional Toxic Terminators who have survived the Toxipocalypse. Sometimes it’s good to have a superhero batting for you.

Also addressed is the contentious issue of whether or not you should don your military fatigues, tool up with your metaphorical weapons of choice, marshal your resources and engage in trench warfare with your Toxic adversary.

Toxic family members and career or academic colleagues, the types you currently can’t escape being physically exposed to, are dissected. Sometimes clusters of Toxics confront you, and in this case, different techniques are required.

Once you are a Toxic-free zone, it’s important to ensure that you spend your time with supportive people and ensure that another Toxic does not sneak into your life. So this book discusses the matter of choosing the right friends, and working out when one may go rogue and turn toxic.

This is a large book of over 120,000 words. You might see it as ‘The Bumper Book of Toxics’. It can be dipped into, so you can focus on ideas of interest or pragmatism if you seek inspiration or concepts you can use quickly, or read from cover to cover if you require a more comprehensive view.

Although Toxics are rarely a laughing matter, a significant portion of this information is presented in a humorous light, which helps you to enjoy, remember and act. As is required by the subject matter, some of the tone is sardonic, satirical and pitch black. This can also put things into perspective and helps you remember that there is a world that is much richer and more interesting than many of us think.

This assists in putting the Toxic in their rightful place – permanently out of your life.

To find out more and get your free sample head over to Amazon.

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