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Aspects of Love (Or Love Signs)

Aspects of Love (Or Love Signs)

None of us stays exactly the way we were on our wedding day, or our first date, or that wonderful day we first fell in love. This does not mean, however, that love withers and dies after those first, brief intense moments of excitement and sheer bliss. It does not have to be downhill from that moment you commit to each other. It is perfectly possible to have plenty of peak experiences in long-term relationships without cheating! That’s what happens when love grows.

There is a school of thought that subscribes to the theory that there are people who are incapable of love and marriage; in fact, some of us even believe it about ourselves. Not all of us were born with qualities like trust, respect, loyalty, honesty, openness, commitment and supportiveness. We might not have been lucky enough to acquire those qualities from our parents. How could we if we never saw them relate to each other in that way. This is not to say that we can’t acquire those qualities for ourselves, however, if we love each other enough to put the effort in. There are plenty of books and gurus out there to help us. Our best mate may even give us a few tips.

What has this to do with astrology, you may ask? Well, there are some people who feel that there are zodiac signs incapable of lasting fidelity and devotion. They believe that certain astrological types are destined to be unfaithful. Not so, while some signs or aspects may find faithfulness to just one person difficult, it is by no means impossible if you are willing to change and grow. That can happen when someone is too good to lose or when repeated failed relationships begin to cost you dear.

The following aspects often make it challenging (but not impossible) to mature and grow in love. All this means is that you will have to work that bit harder to sustain long-term relationships. Fortunately astrology tells us where difficulties are likely to arise and, most importantly, holds the key to overcoming them. With this in mind let’s turn our attention to those challenging aspects and planets!

When Uranus conjoins, opposes or squares the love-and-marriage planet, Venus, in the natal chart, you are predisposed to getting bored in relationships. Then you can grow restless and look to someone else for excitement rather than staying put and injecting it into your daily lives together.

If you have any of these aspects, recognize such tendencies within yourself. Don’t make promises or commitments on the spur of the moment. You really need to develop the emotional maturity needed to appreciate the deep and tranquil, but no less exciting, happiness that comes from a long relationship which goes from strength to strength as you learn more about each other. Look for a partner that will stand their ground and not succumb to your habitual use of childlike guile to get your way. Being charming is less than cute if you leave a trail of broken hearts in your wake!

Uranus in the natal 5th house of love or the 7th house of marriage may exhibit some of these same tendencies.

Venus conjunct, square or opposite Neptune is the hallmark of the hopeless romantic. These are the people who believe that, like Cinderella, they will leave happily ever after with their perfect partner. . While there are plenty of people of people who achieve this state of bliss, it does require a great deal of work, something, which surprises our hopeless romantic! If the relationship goes through a bad patch you may find yourself consumed with an irresistible urge to seek comfort in the arms of another until the same thing happens with this relationship. Also, this non-solution feels intrinsically wrong to you, because you sense that you are going against everything that love stands for, and you are right! Look for a partner who will love, respect and support you while not allowing you to become too divorced from reality. With this type of a partner you will be able to have the romantic love you seek and to feel rightly proud of the noble sacrifices that you make for love.

Those with Venus conjunct, square or opposite either the Moon or Mars are very emotional people. This is a double-edged sword and can be used to your advantage if you can channel all that emotional energy into improving your relationship rather than just emoting about it!

Those people with Venus conjunct, square or opposite either Saturn or Pluto frequently have deep-seated insecurities and if you have this aspect, you may be absolutely convinced that nobody will ever truly love you. You may need to put some work into remembering those times when people did love you and setting up an strong ‘anchor’ or ‘trigger’ to access those memories when insecurity threatens to destroy your relationships. Failure to do this may lead y to you becoming jealous and possessive with loved ones. To combat this tendency and to help you gain the security that you crave; tell your partner that you need reassurance and affection, and tell him or her why you do. When they understand that it comes from insecurity and not a desire to own them, most loving partners will respond exactly the way you dreamed they would.

If you love someone enough to improve yourself for them, while not ending up resenting them for ‘forcing’ you to make those changes, real love is by no means unattainable. To maximise your chances of success, you and your partner should read about your Venus signs below, and the signs on your 7th house cusps.

Venus in ARIES

Aries wants high-octane excitement in romance, which can be a problem if both partners stagnate into a safe, comfy routine. This Venus sign needs to mature sufficiently to develop the strategies required to retain a sense of excitement about the same person. If this is you, think about the person you love as someone whom you can spend a whole lifetime getting to know and understand; there is always something to discover about someone else. Venus in Aries also grows in love when the two of you share things and do things together, whether its designing a website, going for a long, fast drive or just sharing the washing up.

Venus in TAURUS

Your nurturing skills come to the fore when it comes to making love grow. You crave security and stability in your love life and are prepared to work hard to achieve this. You don’t give up either! Unlike Venus in Aries those so-called boring moments in a relationship are what you live for. You adore quiet evenings in with a loved because they give you the sense of security that you need. You are also expert at doing all the practical, sometimes called unromantic, little things that keep love alive, such as managing the family finances, and doing it extremely well. Taurus has a natural affinity for money. While you are practical and earthy when it comes to love rather than mushy you can be extremely romantic and sentimental. In short, you have plenty of advantages when it comes to forming lasting relationships. The one thing that you do need to guard against is a stubborn insistence on having your mate do everything your way, and refusing to compromise when he or suggests an alternative.

Venus in Gemini

Your sign often gets criticised for being irresponsible, amoral, unfaithful and childish. Many claim that you don’t make love grow, but leave at the first sign of difficulty or discord. While this may be true of some Venus-in-Gemini natives, it most certainly isn’t true of all of us! For all the talk of Venus-in-Gemini’s need for stimulation and variety, you really do need to find that perfect partner. This need for a soulmate is a big plus in the love stakes, for it means that you will make the effort to make love grow. To do that, you and your partner should be able to connect mentally. So watch the news together, surf the net, see movies and plays, read the same books and magazines and exchange impressions and opinions. When you respect your partner as an equal and receive that same respect in return, your love will go from strength to strength.

Venus in CANCER

Like Venus in Taurus you want love to last and grow. You are also dedicated to ensuring that it does. You are truly magical: a loyal, faithful and dedicated partner; you have a gift for making any house into a home and for overseeing the nutrition and health of your loved one. For fellow romantics you are a dream come true remembering birthdays, anniversaries and lots of sentimental little holidays; for getting or making exactly the right thing for your partner’s birthday. However, one major flaw can spoil these many wonderful qualities: possessiveness. You may feel that your spouse is not a partner but a possession that is to be held onto at all costs. If he or she speaks to someone else, you may grow irrationally jealous. Try to get things in perspective, Cancer, and think of all those faithful partners who do socialise with others without straying. C’mon now, why should yours be any different? If you can act like a partner and not an owner (or a parent!), you will get exactly what you’ve always wanted: a love that not only lasts, it actually grows stronger by the year.

Venus in LEO

You are extremely loyal and devoted. You will want to stay and make things work with your partner. You are fortunate enough to be able to generate and regenerate passionate emotion. You are unlikely to just switch off if a partner suddenly seems to be unresponsive. You want to make love grow, and you can, because you are sentimental, romantic and optimistic. You are also extremely proud and won’t give up on your marriage without a fight, because you hate to fail, especially at anything so personal. Within that last description lies the essence of a potential problem that can keep your love from growing. While you love deeply, you may tend to think only of the intensity of your own feelings. You can be a little too in love with love and forget that the object of your adoration has feelings too! You have to remember that somebody else is involved in this relationship with you! If you keep in mind that your spouse is not your royal subject, but your life partner, he or she will be loyal to you for life!

Venus in VIRGO

Perfectionist that you are, you probably ensure that practical details of your relationships run like clockwork. Yours is a pragmatic, mundane and practical love. Great flights of fantasy are not for you which means that you may fail to deliver those little things that a partner with a more openly romantic sign may crave. Some people with this Venus sign are left after many years of faithful and loyal devotion for someone with far fewer good qualities but who is more romantic or exciting. To avoid this use more endearments and romantic gestures. Perhaps your partner would prefer a day learning to fly rather than a sensible sweater. Also, you can be over critical so remember to praise your partner and say “I’m proud of you” once in a while – a few more hugs and kisses wouldn’t go amiss either. Don’t take your marriage for granted and your mate won’t decide to leave you for someone more appreciative.

Venus in LIBRA

Yours is the sign of partnership, and you desperately want your relationship to work. You go into it with the highest of ideals and the best of intentions. However, you may feel that all you have to do to gain eternal romantic bliss is just to pair up and lets things happen. Well, I’ve got news for you – it takes work and lots of it! Furthermore, no other person can solve all your problems for you, make all your decisions for you, run your life for you or that marriage itself instantly fixes any and all problems in your life. Learn to view any problems that occur in your relationship as tests of your commitment, rather than the results of fundamental flaws in your personality. Don’t be surprised or concerned when your love is no longer exactly the same as it was when you were dating. You and your partner are no longer exactly the same people who got together but change doesn’t have to be bad. Change occurs as love develops, it’s up to you what you do about it.

Venus in SCORPIO

You have plenty of advantages when it comes to making love grow and last. You are extremely loyal, devoted, determined, deeply passionate and emotional. You love with all your heart and soul. When problems occur, you don’t give up easily; they only serve to make you more determined to make your relationship work. However, you frequently have to overcome some, to less intense signs, less than endearing personality before you can really make love grow. You are so intense that you may overwhelm your partner and your relationship with possessiveness, jealousy, and periodic dramatic scenes. Learn to tone down all those wonderful qualities to the level where they become strengths rather than weaknesses. In short, learn to allow your partner the space and freedom that they need.

Venus in SAGITTARIUS

Oh, dear. Here comes the zodiac’s freewheeling, freedom loving singleton sign! Do you want to settle down? Well, it depends on your mood. If you do want to settle down for more than a brief interlude, you are going to have to put some extra time, thought and effort into your relationship. You simply have to come to terms with the fact that you can’t keep doing things the way you did before you were married. You have to consider your mate’s feelings, and you can’t just take off for days on end. A lesson it took me several years to learn! You also have to cut down on those activities that might leave you maimed or dead, your mate just want like it. You can’t possibly be so selfish as to break your neck when you’re supposed to be entertaining their boss! You can’t be so haphazard with money and your friends will have to be your friends, and not your substitute family. In short, if you want a long-lasting love you’ll have to compromise and accept a few restrictions, something that many with this Venus sign resist.

Venus in CAPRICORN

Every mothers’ dream unless their extremely possessive. Why? Well, because your mature, practical qualities, work ethic and determination to succeed make you such excellent marriage material. You are the perfect pair of safe hands to support their chick! You want stability in your private life; you are not afraid to wait and work for what you want; you are reliable and responsible and respectful. As a cautious and careful planner you are built for the emotional long haul, and that is a distinct advantage when it comes to making relationships last. You are also keep to improve yourself so you will ensure that you pick the rest of those qualities that you need to make love last. Do remember to tell your mate that you love rather than assuming that your actions make it obvious!

Venus in AQUARIUS

You are an interesting mix as Aquarius tends to be associated with a semi-detached love of humanity rather than individual members of it. As a result of this assumption you may not think that you’ve got what it takes to sustain a loving long-term relationship. However, you are idealistic and loyal, and you have a great capacity for understanding and accepting the flaws and
weaknesses of others, traits that are invaluable in a long-term relationship like marriage, believe me! There are always things about our mate that require a great deal of tolerance. You’re a great talker and an even better listener, and a wonderful companion in both good times and bad. Possessed of an inquisitive and lively mind you can always pick up those skills required to make a relationship last if you are sufficiently motivated.

Venus in PISCES

You want your love to last forever and are committed to doing your part to see that it does. You are considerate, sympathetic, sentimental and generous, all of which are important gifts to bring to a marriage, and that can make someone love you more and more. However, you can make the mistake so common in Water signs: you can become too dependent and too emotional, letting insignificant things destroy your happiness yet denying major problems. Jealousy, possessiveness or heavy demands can wear your mate out. There are times you can be too self-sacrificial and yet other times when you are far too demanding. You need to make an effort to need less from your partner. So for example if you need to feel secure, find ways of getting this need met that don’t drain or involve your partner. Needing a partner isn’t the same thing as loving them and they know it; the less needy you are, the more affectionate your mate will be as they’ll feel you want them rather than just needing them, and the more your love will grow over the years.

To find out more read my forthcoming book Sun Sign Relationships … An AstroCoach’s Guide To How Each Sun Sign Dates, Relates And Communicates. Click on this link to find out more and to get your free sample!

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