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How To Make Positive & Long Lasting Changes To Your Life. Part 4.

How To Make Positive & Long Lasting Changes To Your Life. Part 4.

Methodology, Techniques and Tools

Programming the subconscious is key to achieving what we want. Here are some tools to use in the following order:

Active Meditation and Goal Setting

Meditation is the key to many things – increased health and vitality, relaxation, entering different states of consciousness, mystical experience. The meditation that we will discuss here is of the active variety. This simply means that we sit calmly and in a state of stillness and actively consider what we want to achieve, whether that is an overall life strategy or a particular goal.

We select the idea and turn it over in our mind, considering the best approach, and imbuing the idea or goal with the appropriate emotional energy. To reinforce this meditation, we add increasingly focused creative thinking and do what we can to permeate our subconscious with the associated ideas and imagery. We approach the goal on a conscious and subconscious level to ensure that the channels are open for delivery. We are in the best position to seize any opportunity that presents itself or is generated by ourselves by priming the mind for action. This is very effective when we are looking at short-term goals, as we should be in a position to sustain the concentration, energy and emotion to the right level for the duration of the goal.

Visualisation

Visualise what we want – this is an offshoot of the meditation practice described above and should be used in conjunction with creative thinking. In essence we visualise ourselves in the position where we have what we want and imbue this with emotional energy, so that see, feel, smell, hear and experience the sensations of success.

Affirmation

A classic tool to programme the subconscious and to reinforce active meditation and visualisation techniques – whatever is desired is said with power, feeling, authority and emotional energy and stated in the present tense.

Personal History

Writing our personal history/obituary from the perspective of having got where we want to is a powerful technique that can consist of writing our autobiography from the perspective of success. This may also involve creating our own personal mythology where we perceive ourselves as the hero in our own psychodrama, seeing other participants in their appropriate roles.

Belief Systems

Have fun with these – choose the best one for the given situation. We do of course have to be able to read situations well to ensure that the appropriate belief is chosen.

The Personal Armoury

Look at developing a personal armoury of tools and techniques to enable us to get what we want, and as a minimum we need a good balance of the following:

  • Attitude – (a winning, can-do attitude of course)
  • Communication skills to win others over to our opinion
  • Interpersonal skills – make them feel good about doing things for us
  • Charisma – a key skill that can be developed to give us the edge in terms of presence and personal impact. Others look for it, respect it and respond to so the development of charisma is a vital ingredient of success
  • Business skills – get rich, use ideas, events and others to create wealth
  • Financial and investment skills – stay rich, increase the value of your investment
  • Technical skills – master the techniques to do the above
  • Persuasion skills – utilising others effectively is key whilst not making enemies, (and if we do make enemies, make sure you can control or neutralise them)
  • Motivational skills – use others to their advantage
  • Leadership skills – lead others to do what we and they actually want
  • Persistency – sticking at it even when things look bleak and desperate. If we have clearly defined what we want to do, researched it and committed to it, we sell yourselves short if we give up too easily. However it is pointless to continue with something that is obviously not going to work, so a ruthlessly detached way of evaluating progress and success is required
  • Political skills – make sure it is someone else’s fault or accept the blame and move on if that is our style or to our benefit
  • Seduction skills – get them to want to do things for us and enjoy it. Seduction applies as much as getting financial backing as it does to getting someone into bed (occasionally the same thing)
  • Warrior skills – attack and defend ourselves and what is important, given our reading of the situation at any one time
  • A sense of ethics and morality – this may not matter to us but we may need to give the appearance of acting within a personal or socially acceptable framework to get what we want

We should have some of these already. Those skills we don’t have should be seen as a challenge to spur us to developing them. Look at the payoffs – this will make us decide which ones to prioritise. The skills are ranked in no order of importance – think about what we need to change and this will enable us to work out which to focus on, given our goals and circumstances.

In this age of mass communication and the Internet, being a good communicator is fundamental. This means we should be able to communicate to ourselves what we want and how we are going to use opportunities that we develop or are presented to us. The inner dialogue is key. Our communication skills are then used to maximise the situation, for example getting someone of influence to adopt our recommendations and course of action.

Communication skills are complex and encompass the following:

  • Verbal skills
  • Intonation and modulation of voice
  • Conveying the right message in the most appropriate way
  • Interpersonal skills – body language and such like
  • Visual cues
  • Reading others with a view to understanding their requirements
  • Making others accept/endorse your point of view and act
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How To Make Positive & Long Lasting Changes To Your Life. Part 3.

How To Make Positive & Long Lasting Changes To Your Life. Part 3.

A New Approach to Goal Setting

Many personal development programmes talk about a five or ten year strategic plan. This starts with a glorious premise about deciding on the sort of life we want to live, who we are, setting goals and so on. It requires the ability to look far ahead and the self-discipline to work towards median and long term goals, rather like a long-term savings or pension plan. This is similar to that of the traditional concept of business strategy, where large corporations in fairly static market conditions, often in a dominant position, opt for the luxury of long-term plans based on the fact that the market was unlikely to change much over that period of time. There is often a lot of optimistic and sentimental rhetoric in these books about becoming a better person; not doing things that will result in building up karmic debts, respecting ones fellow man and so on. This long-termist approach rather less valid either in business or in personal development because:

  • Rapid changes in the social and economic environment
  • The relentless pace of technological innovation
  • Our generation is more concerned with instant gratification than long-term goals – we are disinclined to save or wait for the future, hoping that we will get what we want when in fact we can have it now. Business is geared up to delivering immediate gratification via a never-ending stream of products and creative ways to pay for them so that they can be enjoyed now. Saving for a long term goal is something that we are less likely to do in the current environment
  • It is impossible now to do long term planning when technology compresses time
  • People are becoming more conscious of the need to live in the now, the immediate present and not to worry about the dead past or the unborn future.
  • Life is inherently insecure and futures are far from guaranteed, therefore a live now, pay later mentality persists

A strategy that is more realistic actually conforms to the old, often derided concept of tactics, a strategy that in fact is endorsed in the business environment to ensure that the organisation remains competitive in the face of intense change and competition. Given that the current fashion to look at immediate gratification, consider the following when defining and prioritising goals:

  • Goals should be set in three month time periods – this will enable us to focus the emotional and intellectual energies and measure progress, without losing momentum or motivation
  • Where possible, goals should be decomposed even further. If a goal can be decomposed into a series of small events that can be achieved on a daily basis, the cumulative power is more effective. Twenty sub-goals that can be achieved in five minutes per day over a month contribute towards a major life enhancing goal and can be easier to achieve than one large goal per month
  • Large goals e.g. making our first million, finding the partner of our desires, floating our company etc. can still use this format. Simply break the larger goal into a series of smaller goals over an agreed period of time
  • Goals must be measurable, so that corrective action can be taken if necessary
  • Goals should be given clear dates, such as March 31, as opposed to the end of quarter one, and should also be very clearly defined and unambiguous, such as research and identify three shares that have the potential, (given current and estimated market conditions) to deliver growth in excess of twenty percent over the next quarter, as opposed to identify attractive investment opportunities
  • Once a goal is achieved, move rapidly to the next. This is very important if a goal is part of a larger picture and the next goal depends on it (causal connection and critical path analysis)

The expression ‘Live in the now and do not concern yourself with the dead past or unborn future’ is highly applicable here. Whereas it is conventional to live with regrets for what might have been or worry about what happens next, (‘if only we had done this’ or ‘will we have enough pension for my retirement?’ and so on), this is counterproductive and self-indulgent. We can do nothing about the past, we can merely change our attitude, and if we want to change the future, we change the now.

Examples of personal goals as discussed with one client:

  • Make £1Million pounds on the stock market by x date
  • Move to a detached Georgian House in the Countryside with extensive grounds, walled garden etc.
  • Get a well paid job with a well financed technology start-up, with significant stock options which would lead to the possibility of realising at least £1,000,000 at IPO – the position should be personally fulfilling as well as financially rewarding
  • Become an authority, loved and feted by others with all the benefits of charismatic rock star status
  • Get fit, lean and muscular
  • Resist the physical and mental effects of ageing
  • Enjoy life to the full
  • Explore and understand all areas of ones mind, personality and behaviour and make any modifications on a conscious and subconscious level to increase one’s enjoyment of life, interaction with others and probabilities of success

It is useful to be aware of the psychological drivers behind the goals. In the above instances the following drivers were identified and intensified the urge to be successful:

  • Need for others to feel that you are important – ego and self-esteem gratification
  • Need to feel better than others – they love/respect you but on your terms and you don’t want them to get too close otherwise you no longer bestow your favours
  • Need for financial abundance – without this options are limited and the fear equation enters

Prioritise these – if we have problems setting priorities sit down, relax and think. Failing that, have a decent meal and a bottle of wine and go to bed and let our subconscious loose on them to provide a decision. Intense, mutually gratifying sexual experience can also be beneficial in providing a sensuous, creative outlet for the imagination.

Concepts and Attitudes of Mind

The following mental constructs have been found useful in order to achieve success:

  • Life as a laboratory/arena – treat reality as a means to explore techniques to enable us to achieve our goals and see everything, no matter how initially unpromising, as an opportunity
  • Time running out – the amount of time at our disposal is decreasing every moment, therefore acting in the present, prioritising resources and working efficiently are essential. This does mean enduring the tedium of a time-management course but evaluating opportunities and situations quickly and perceptively, prioritising our resources ruthlessly and delegating things that bore us or at which we are ineffective to others who are more capable. If we are a charismatic visionary leader, stick to that, unless we really feel we need to stretch ourselves by becoming a master of office administration
  • Money as energy – financial freedom enables us to do interesting things and the residue can be invested. Hoarding money is a constricting activity whereas money is there to be enjoyed by having interesting experiences which generally cost more than dull ones
  • Knowledge is power – manage our knowledge and experience store and if we run a company, find ways to capture the knowledge and experience of key employees. Encourage them to share and reward them in financial terms for sharing knowledge that makes our organisation more successful. Actively learn from the past and the present and, like the proverbial magpie, steal from the ideas and experiences of others
  • The management of perceptions – ours and others. If we want to be a success we need to convince others of this, which applies to staff, partners, financiers and anyone else we need to influence
  • Learning experiences – there is no such thing as failure as everything can be seen as an opportunity to become more successful, no matter how initially unpromising the situation

A New Approach to Goal Setting

Many personal development programmes talk about a five or ten year strategic plan. This starts with a glorious premise about deciding on the sort of life we want to live, who we are, setting goals and so on. It requires the ability to look far ahead and the self-discipline to work towards median and long term goals, rather like a long-term savings or pension plan. This is similar to that of the traditional concept of business strategy, where large corporations in fairly static market conditions, often in a dominant position, opt for the luxury of long-term plans based on the fact that the market was unlikely to change much over that period of time. There is often a lot of optimistic and sentimental rhetoric in these books about becoming a better person; not doing things that will result in building up karmic debts, respecting ones fellow man and so on. This long-termist approach rather less valid either in business or in personal development because:

  • Rapid changes in the social and economic environment
  • The relentless pace of technological innovation
  • Our generation is more concerned with instant gratification than long-term goals – we are disinclined to save or wait for the future, hoping that we will get what we want when in fact we can have it now. Business is geared up to delivering immediate gratification via a never-ending stream of products and creative ways to pay for them so that they can be enjoyed now. Saving for a long term goal is something that we are less likely to do in the current environment
  • It is impossible now to do long term planning when technology compresses time
  • People are becoming more conscious of the need to live in the now, the immediate present and not to worry about the dead past or the unborn future.
  • Life is inherently insecure and futures are far from guaranteed, therefore a live now, pay later mentality persists

A strategy that is more realistic actually conforms to the old, often derided concept of tactics, a strategy that in fact is endorsed in the business environment to ensure that the organisation remains competitive in the face of intense change and competition. Given that the current fashion to look at immediate gratification, consider the following when defining and prioritising goals:

  • Goals should be set in three month time periods – this will enable us to focus the emotional and intellectual energies and measure progress, without losing momentum or motivation
  • Where possible, goals should be decomposed even further. If a goal can be decomposed into a series of small events that can be achieved on a daily basis, the cumulative power is more effective. Twenty sub-goals that can be achieved in five minutes per day over a month contribute towards a major life enhancing goal and can be easier to achieve than one large goal per month
  • Large goals e.g. making our first million, finding the partner of our desires, floating our company etc. can still use this format. Simply break the larger goal into a series of smaller goals over an agreed period of time
  • Goals must be measurable, so that corrective action can be taken if necessary
  • Goals should be given clear dates, such as March 31, as opposed to the end of quarter one, and should also be very clearly defined and unambiguous, such as research and identify three shares that have the potential, (given current and estimated market conditions) to deliver growth in excess of twenty percent over the next quarter, as opposed to identify attractive investment opportunities
  • Once a goal is achieved, move rapidly to the next. This is very important if a goal is part of a larger picture and the next goal depends on it (causal connection and critical path analysis)

The expression ‘Live in the now and do not concern yourself with the dead past or unborn future’ is highly applicable here. Whereas it is conventional to live with regrets for what might have been or worry about what happens next, (‘if only we had done this’ or ‘will we have enough pension for my retirement?’ and so on), this is counterproductive and self-indulgent. We can do nothing about the past, we can merely change our attitude, and if we want to change the future, we change the now.

Examples of personal goals as discussed with one client:

  • Make £1Million pounds on the stock market by x date
  • Move to a detached Georgian House in the Countryside with extensive grounds, walled garden etc.
  • Get a well paid job with a well financed technology start-up, with significant stock options which would lead to the possibility of realising at least £1,000,000 at IPO – the position should be personally fulfilling as well as financially rewarding
  • Become an authority, loved and feted by others with all the benefits of charismatic rock star status
  • Get fit, lean and muscular
  • Resist the physical and mental effects of ageing
  • Enjoy life to the full
  • Explore and understand all areas of ones mind, personality and behaviour and make any modifications on a conscious and subconscious level to increase one’s enjoyment of life, interaction with others and probabilities of success

It is useful to be aware of the psychological drivers behind the goals. In the above instances the following drivers were identified and intensified the urge to be successful:

  • Need for others to feel that you are important – ego and self-esteem gratification
  • Need to feel better than others – they love/respect you but on your terms and you don’t want them to get too close otherwise you no longer bestow your favours
  • Need for financial abundance – without this options are limited and the fear equation enters

Prioritise these – if we have problems setting priorities sit down, relax and think. Failing that, have a decent meal and a bottle of wine and go to bed and let our subconscious loose on them to provide a decision. Intense, mutually gratifying sexual experience can also be beneficial in providing a sensuous, creative outlet for the imagination.

Concepts and Attitudes of Mind

The following mental constructs have been found useful in order to achieve success:

  • Life as a laboratory/arena – treat reality as a means to explore techniques to enable us to achieve our goals and see everything, no matter how initially unpromising, as an opportunity
  • Time running out – the amount of time at our disposal is decreasing every moment, therefore acting in the present, prioritising resources and working efficiently are essential. This does mean enduring the tedium of a time-management course but evaluating opportunities and situations quickly and perceptively, prioritising our resources ruthlessly and delegating things that bore us or at which we are ineffective to others who are more capable. If we are a charismatic visionary leader, stick to that, unless we really feel we need to stretch ourselves by becoming a master of office administration
  • Money as energy – financial freedom enables us to do interesting things and the residue can be invested. Hoarding money is a constricting activity whereas money is there to be enjoyed by having interesting experiences which generally cost more than dull ones
  • Knowledge is power – manage our knowledge and experience store and if we run a company, find ways to capture the knowledge and experience of key employees. Encourage them to share and reward them in financial terms for sharing knowledge that makes our organisation more successful. Actively learn from the past and the present and, like the proverbial magpie, steal from the ideas and experiences of others
  • The management of perceptions – ours and others. If we want to be a success we need to convince others of this, which applies to staff, partners, financiers and anyone else we need to influence
  • Learning experiences – there is no such thing as failure as everything can be seen as an opportunity to become more successful, no matter how initially unpromising the situation
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One for Burn’s Night!

death_cloak_lifts_up

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How To Make Positive & Long Lasting Changes To Your Life. Part 2.

How To Make Positive & Long Lasting Changes To Your Life. Part 2.

Why Now Is The Best Time To Change

If we don’t do it now or start soon, we may always continue to find reasons not to. The world is full of exciting opportunities and the sooner we start, the sooner we will get what we want. Each day that we delay can never be recovered. If we want to do any, all, or a combination of the following, now is the best time ever:

  • Feel great all the time, in control of events, ever attentive to extracting the best from any given situation
  • Achieve wealth – quickly, depending on our attitude towards risk
  • Start, run and sell a successful business
  • Combine the outward manifestations of success and power (large house, expensive clothes and cars, trophy partner) with the reality of power in terms of a well developed ego and personality, health and fitness, strong networks, loyal partners and financial security
  • Become a guru in whatever field appeals
  • Get known, loved and respected either by those who matter to us or humanity in general
  • Be a writer/broadcaster/authority – if our ideas and opinions interest us why not share them or inflict them on others. There is an insatiable appetite for glamour and success so if this appeals, look at ways of fuelling it
  • Get fit – to feel good, live longer, look good to or simply irritate others
  • Dress smart and expensively or just appropriately, depending on the situation
  • Be better than our peers, whoever we consider them to be, and should we wish to indulge ourselves by belittling those we consider less than ourselves
  • Be any number of different people (selves), depending on our mood at the time – after all, consistency can be self-limiting
  • Vivid sexual encounters, according to our imagination and ability to attract the appropriate partners/victims
  • Achieve charisma
  • Break from the bonds of tradition, whether imposed by others or ourselves
  • Go beyond your current, self-imposed limitations, whatever they may be and however we recognise them
  • Develop a spiritual path, depending on what this means to us and how important we perceive it to be

This is due to the incredible pace of change in society and the breaking down of old barriers and concomitant inhibitors to success. Consider the following:

  • The demand for skilled people – business leaders, communicators, entrepreneurs, technicians etc. has never been higher and there is a skills shortage within many professions. There is an abundance of mediocrity in all spheres, which inflates the market value of the excellent and can be exploited ruthlessly. Enjoy! This situation may become exacerbated
  • Free flow of money between people and countries – the release of energy and also creative exploitation of inconsistencies in tax regimes
  • Dynamic economy and marketplace
  • Constant and insatiable demand for novelty, new ideas, innovation – even the greatest mediocrity seems to get their fifteen minutes of fame so why not us with our inexhaustible supply of originality, creativity and ideas?
  • Breakdown of old moralities, frameworks, social mores – by pushing the boundaries we break these down further and create new opportunities, although often we end up imposing new boundaries. The demand for something to replace these often provides the opportunity to supply the same thing in different packaging
  • We have more options and choices than ever before and therefore more responsibility to work out what is going to pay off and over what period of time. After all, if we can have instant gratification why bother with the effort of long-term strategies

Strategy

A strategic approach is required to facilitate successful change. This will cover the development of new skills, beliefs and behaviour. We get into the habit of looking at every situation, no matter how initially unpromising, as an opportunity to learn and develop.

What we are attempting is to recreate ourselves psychologically (and maybe physically, if we are dissatisfied with aspects of our appearance). Just because we may have arbitrarily picked up a set of disempowering beliefs does not mean that we have to retain them. We consciously develop beliefs and attitudes that help us progress. If we don’t get on well with others, consider why this is. Are we frightened of people, disinterested or hold them with contempt. Is this persistence of attitude in our best interests? If it isn’t all we have to change is the way people perceive us.

The strategy can be summarised as follows:

  • Clarity – understand where we are now and where we want to be. What do we need to do to achieve this and what are the practical measures that we need to take, and over what period of time? How much do we wish to achieve this and how much time and energy are we prepared to dedicate to this?
  • Strategy development – how do we create the strategy and break it into a number of manageable goals?
  • Goals – what goals should be prioritised and over what period of time? What rewards should we give yourself as an incentive to keep on track?
  • Implementation – the actual doing i.e. making sure that you take the right actions and constantly monitor the effectiveness of what we are doing
  • Contingency planning – if circumstances change dramatically that we had not accounted for how do we ensure that we make the most of these?
  • Risk management – evaluate the costs of the proposed course of action and what we will do if it goes wrong. What is the worst thing that can happen and how can we prepare to deal with it?
  • Motivation – how do we ensure that we keep committed and on track? How can we exploit the latest techniques in personal development and subliminal programming to our advantage?
  • Measurement – to ensure that the strategy delivers, it must be measurable and timescales will be required. If we do not do so, time drifts and results are limited. Momentum and initiative is lost and we eventually end up where we where originally, maybe slightly better of and a little wiser but in reality no further forward.

A key component of the correct approach to strategy is the acceptance of personal responsibility, a dramatic realisation that we have control and power over our life. Acceptance of this responsibility means that we no longer blame forces outside ourselves if things do not go our way. The psychiatrist Sheldon Kopp speaks about killing the Buddha if we meet him on the road – a succinct realisation that only we can run our own life and not delegate the responsibility to others, no matter how willing. Essentially no one has power over us unless you choose to confer it on them – this is what is occasionally known as the existential approach. Similarly, we cannot run the lives of other people for them – so unless we really want the responsibility for others as well as ourselves, make it very clear to them that they have this responsibility and not us.

Avoiding personal responsibility is no longer an option. Nobody is as interested in our success as much as we are. Governments are saying this and realise the State can no longer provide for its citizens financially, and therefore need them to accept responsibility for their futures. How much freedom can we deal with, and how much freedom is society prepared to allow us? To what degree do we want to change and how much effort are we prepared to make to achieve this?

Many will allow us to become successful up to a point, however once we go beyond this we shatter peoples expectations and cause resentment as they now see themselves as failures by comparison. Certain individuals will attempt to stop us and the more successful we become the greater likelihood.

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Zodiac Sign Flower Photo – Aquarius Zodiac Sign Flower Photo – Aquarius Flower Photo – Bird of Paradise Flower Photo

Zodiac Sign Flower Photo – Aquarius Zodiac Sign Flower Photo – Aquarius Flower Photo – Bird of Paradise Flower Photo

bird of paradise flower photo

The Bird of Paradise Plant is associated with the Zodiac signs of Aquarius and Scorpio.

To find put more about which plants and flower belong with which Zodiac sign take a look in Zodiac Flowers – Flowers And Plants For Each Sun Sign follow this link to find out more and get your free sample. Also take a look at Zodiac Sign Flowers – Flowers And Plants For Each Sun Sign (click here to find out more and get your free sample) and Zodiac Sign Flowers Photobook – A Collection of Flower Photographs for Each Sun Sign Vol. 1 (to find out more and get your free sample click on this link).

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How To Make Positive & Long Lasting Changes To Your Life. Part 1.

How To Make Positive & Long Lasting Changes To Your Life. Part 1.

One of the main reasons we undertake personal development is to change ourselves into something we perceive may be better. If we decide to change, people who prefer seeing us in the ‘old’ way may become resentful. The more successful we become, the more resentful they may appear. Even if they say nothing to us, or seem to behave no different outwardly, we often find they have been actively working against us behind our backs. We may find we soon outgrow such people, especially if they hold us back. Furthermore, new people will be attracted to us, who are more appropriate to our new mind set and lifestyle. Nature abhors a vacuum, and like attracts like.

There are many reasons why we avoid proactive and willed change, and only change when it is forced upon us:

  1. Inertia – we commence a programme of change only to reach a particular stumbling block and progress no further. It appears easier to accept our current circumstances, no matter how unsatisfactory,  than to seek new realities.
  2. Lack of belief that change is possible – self-doubt is a key inhibitor. We need to analyse our real desire to change and what we are prepared to do to make it happen.
  3. Fear – entertaining thoughts about the worst thing that could happen can paralyse us into inaction. We can deal with this by quantifying and evaluating what could happen and thus develop risk management strategies. Fear is often an illusion and the largest fear is that of failure. Confronting a fear, either in our imagination or in its real format, is an effective way of understanding that fear and reducing its importance. This should be done within reason. We may justifiably fear going down a dark alleyway at night where there is a history of muggings. There is no advantage, other than being perverse or trying out our new martial arts skills, to confront fear in this way.
  4. Indifference – does it matter, do I really want to do this, am I that bothered and am I doing this merely because it sounds good or I want to impress my friends/partner/peer group? If we are genuinely indifferent to making fundamental changes that could improve the quality of our life, we may have a number of subconscious blocks to work with.
  5. Risk – cost in terms of opportunity, time, effort, money and sacrifice. What if it goes wrong, I lose everything and end up discredited in front of my family and peer group? Risk management techniques should be used to deal with this inhibitor.
  6. Conditioning – although I want to do this at a conscious level, influences from my past are working against me. I don’t actually think I can do this or am in fact good enough to have what I want.
  7. Lack of belief in our ability to want to change, develop a strategy, and act – it sounds good but there is no way I can actually achieve any of this.
  8. Inability to follow through – success begins in the mind but action is required to realise success on the material plane. A strategy, decomposed into tactics and goals is fundamental to realisation and a superb way to measure progress and keep us motivated.

Why Change?

In order to counteract the blocks, consider the benefits of change. The benefits will drive us forward and provide the emotional adrenalin that keeps us going:

  • Live life to the fullness of our being – we are a long time dead so we should make the most of our short time on Earth.
  • Get what we want – better that we do than don’t unless masochism is compelling or we wish to seek refuge in the ‘if only I had done that’ philosophy.
  • Avoid feelings of regret that we have not developed or made the most of opportunities.
  • Avoid the life of mediocrity that we may have felt is all that we deserve or are capable of.

Is staying the same an option anyway? Change is endemic in life and we are subtly changing every day. Our bodies rebuilds themselves over a period of time, so we can look at making a positive choice to rebuild our lives and circumstances as well. By changing in a positive, planned way, we take control and achieve the results that we desire.

Who are you?

Who am I at this point in my life and how did I get here? Look around and we observe everything that we have created for ourselves now, the totality of our choices and decisions over a period of time. If we are dissatisfied with the results, why have we chosen such self-limiting beliefs, as it is these that have manifested our current situation.

Usually, the ego and accompanying belief systems have been constructed in an ill-devised way as a series of reactions to unplanned events. Consider the opportunities that may be presented by rebuilding the ego from the ground up in the most creative, positive way. We can recreate ourselves according to our own creative impulse and eliminate success inhibitors, those insidious subconscious blocks to success. The formula is straightforward – think, identify, understand, establish if the inhibitor can be transformed into a positive enabler, otherwise terminate with extreme prejudice. Creative visualisation has a clear role here in getting rid of a negative or success inhibiting belief

Work out who we want to be and how to get there – the difference between how we are now and how we truly want to be is often summarised as the gap analysis. So who do we want to be – that which we think we currently are or the true expression and realisation of our potential? Understand and relish the multiple aspects of our personality and recognise which come to the fore in given situations. Many people fall into the misconception that they need to be consistent, whereas this is not always possible. Understanding and relishing our inconsistencies can be a key strength.

Beliefs

Belief is capable of producing the most sublime and atrocious human behaviours and acts. We choose a belief system at an early age (or have one chosen for us) and generally stick with it. Only under conditions of stress and life-changing events do we reconsider the nature of our beliefs, why we chose them and whether they are still appropriate. Maybe one belief system is as valid as another – if nothing is true, everything is permitted.

Being ourselves and true to ourselves sounds wonderful in theory. However, society does not always approve of those who are truly themselves and relish being themselves, therefore we may find there are certain costs attached to this. How do we quantify those costs and are we prepared to pay? Some of the major costs and risks can be summarised as follows:

  • Social disapproval
  • Career limitation or enhancement
  • Potential financial or lifestyle pressures
  • Friends and family disapprove
  • Alienation
  • Uprootedness

Against this, balance the cost to the self and self-esteem of not following our true will and living a lie for the sake of social approval. Choose the belief system that works for us and to make modifications to enable us to function effectively in society to ensure that we get what we want without having to make unsatisfactory compromises. Look to change belief systems as necessary – play with new ones to understand new possibilities and explore new aspects of our ‘self’. Remember that we have been brought up within a particular context of belief that may not even have been valid when it originated. Establish whether this still works for us – if it doesn’t, change it.

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Is Love On The Rebound A Smart Move?

Is Love On The Rebound A Smart Move?

So what is a rebound relationship and why do so many people think it’s a bad idea? A rebound relationship is one that occurs very shortly after the end of a significant love (sometimes begins before the end) and most importantly doesn’t allow time for the grieving and healing processes to be complete. If you are completely over your ex when you start dating, no matter how soon, then you are not on the rebound.

When you date on the rebound there is a strong risk, unless you are extremely self-aware, of hurting yourself and others. If you are leaping into a new relationship to feel lovable, worthwhile, sexy, whatever again and the relationship bombs after a short time you could find your self-esteem taking a sharp nosedive. It is far better to take time out and look at your own part in what went wrong – what behaviours do you need to change, what would you do differently this time around (make sure that you do it!) and what do you need from a partner and relationship? Many of us go chasing a partner who would have been right for us months or years ago but who cannot satisfy our new requirements. This is why so many people date the same type over and over again with predictable and unsatisfactory results.

If you dive straight into another relationship without working out what you really need, rather than what you think you want, from a new partner you can find that the feelings for your old partner simply transfer to the new one, and there is the illusion that you’ve found someone totally “different,” when, in fact, you’ve found someone very much like your old love. When this happens there is the very real danger that the issues, which drove you away from your previous partner are the very ones, which threaten your new relationship.

If, like most people, you find yourself feeling vulnerable after a divorce or break-up you may find yourself going for someone who is the complete opposite of your partner, yet equally unsuitable. All of know on a sub-conscious level what wasn’t working in the relationship, so we look for someone who provides the remedy. However, the new you who has been transformed by surviving a break-up will not have the same needs as the old you so a carelessly chosen new partner may not provide the relief you need.

Rebound relationships can be the perfect remedy for heartbreak, as long as you are aware of their purpose and take your time to allow them to develop. Use your judgement and do not rush into quickly swept away by a misplaced sense of relief and gratitude. Make sure that you see the person as they really are and not as you wish them to be. Do not expect them to fix or save you. Try not to give into the temptation to force the pace of the relationship in the hope that you can make sure this one lasts – it won’t!

For those of you tempted to date a rebounder, the biggest risk you face is that they can move on leaving your heart in tatters. Make sure that you do not allow them to set the pace, which may be too fast for both of you and be aware that, if their mind is partly on their ex, their commitment to you may be less that 100%. If you’re prepared to take the risk then take  your time, allow the relationship to develop slowly, communicate with each other and take good care of yourself emotionally while that deep and meaningful relationship develops.

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Cartoon – Early Agriculture!

Cartoon – Early Agriculture!

agriculture

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Your Basic Nature As Shown By Sun Sign

Your Basic Nature As Shown By Sun Sign

In astrology the Sun Sign represents the ego drive, the core of our being, the true unalterable self. No matter how forcefully other factors in the chart divert, disguise or thwart the thrust of the Sun’s energy, it will always find a way round them, obviously or discretely directing an individual’s life.

So here is a quick guide to an individual’s basic nature as shown by their Sun sign.

Sun In Aries

This makes your basic nature that of someone whose approach to life is forceful, impulsive and energetic. You love life and can’t wait to get on and shape it to suit you. Sun in Aries can predispose you to being arrogant, egotistical, insensitive and impatient. There is a marked need to learn from your mistakes.

Sun In Taurus

This makes your basic nature that of a self-reliant, stable and persistent individual. You are also a person who considers the potential outcome of each and every action that you take. You take things one-step at a time and are extremely determined. You can have a tendency to be extremely stubborn, materialistic and can explode with rage occasionally. Perhaps thumping a cushion or investing in a punch bag might be a good idea!

Sun In Gemini

This makes your basic nature that of someone who is talkative and sociable. You are a bright and breezy individual who demands plenty of mental stimulation. A versatile and flexible individual, your approach to life is cool, detached and inquisitive. Others may find you a little too cool and superficial. They may also find your tendency to become bored with routine a little aggravating.

Sun In Cancer

This makes your basic nature that of sensitive, reserved and emotional individual whose reaction to life is pretty conventional and family-oriented. Your approach to life is tenacious and intuitive. Watch out for a tendency to moodiness and depression. Also, try not to let fear hold you back.

Sun In Leo

This makes your basic nature that of a generous, regal, creative and fun-loving individual, whose reaction to life is forceful and autocratic. Your basic approach to life is to demand of it what you feel is rightfully yours. Guard against being duped (you’re susceptible to flattery), indolent and being too demanding.

Sun In Virgo

This makes your basic nature that of a reserved, self-effacing and practical person who functions best in a working environment. Guard against a tendency to demand perfection and to appear cold and aloof.

Sun In Libra

This makes your basic nature that of an easy-going, tolerant and objective individual, whose basic approach to life is fair-minded and pleasant. You can be a little too objective and others may mistake your impartiality for shallowness.

Sun In Scorpio

This makes your basic nature that of a secretive, obsessive and resourceful individual, who will never compromise or accept defeat. Your basic approach to life is penetrating, perceptive and wary. You can have a tendency towards envy/jealousy, possessiveness and biting sarcasm. Others may find your silent watchfulness unnerving.

Sun In Sagittarius

This makes your basic nature that of a friendly, optimistic, philosophical and freedom-loving individual who is always looking for new adventures and experiences. Your basic approach to life is to grab it with gusto. You can have a tendency towards extravagance, carelessness and exaggeration. Others may find your inability to commit and lack of attention to detail irritating.

Sun In Capricorn

This makes your basic nature that of a conservative and success-oriented individual whose reaction to life is serious and conventional. Your basic approach to life is cautious, wee thought out and methodical. You can have a tendency towards depression so others may regard you as a bit of a wet blanket.

Sun In Aquarius

This makes your basic nature that of an idealistic, original and extremely humanitarian individual, who will put immense effort and energy into unorthodox, even revolutionary ideas. Your basic approach towards others is friendly, yet superficial and impersonal. Others may regard you as too eccentric, too unconventional, too detached and far too patronizing.

Sun In Pisces

This makes your basic nature that of a romantic and gentle soul, who is rather unworldly. You are very idealistic but can be a little too trusting of others, so you need to trust your intuition when it gives you a clear warning about some of those who would seek to use you. Your basic approach to life is sympathetic, sensitive and compassionate. You can be vague, moody and experience periods of marked self-doubt. Others may regard you as far too timid and prone to wasting time on fruitless daydreaming.

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